Quote 45

If life gives you lemons, throw them back in Life's face and tell it you wanted limes

Quote 44

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

Quote 43

"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"

Quote 42

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people then kill them.

Quote 41

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Quote 40

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it

Quote 39

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems

Quote 38

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Quote 37

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"

Quote 36

When there's a will, I want to be in it

Quote 35

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory

Quote 34

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

Quote 33

What you're looking for is always in the last place you look

Quote 32

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you

Quote 31

“Harry Potter, died because Severus Snape got pissed during and Occlumency lesson,” I said getting their attention. “That’d be a nice thing to put on your gravestone, Harry!”

Quote 30

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Quote 29

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

Quote 28

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

Quote 27

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

Quote 26

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Quote 25

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

Quote 24

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Quote 23

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

Quote 22

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately change my status to ‘chillin’ with the devil’ when I die.

Quote 21

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

Quote 20

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

Quote 19

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework.

Quote 18

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

Quote 17

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

Quote 16

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"

Quote 15

If I get lost, I tend to just wander around and get lost even more.

Quote 14

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

Quote 13

Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away! Bella died, Jacob cried, And HP stayed forever the way, HEY!

Quote 12

I'm a cookie, now gimme dragons! That came out wrong.